Moving on....
This week I finally felt I was able to make some sense of things and start to feel more positive about the future.
Most of the initial appointments with my team of professionals (involved in supporting my short and long term needs) have taken place and I now understand what help is available and how this can be tailored to me at each stage of the illness.
I hope to return to work a few days a week, while I still can - once the remaining appointments I have are completed and I gather up my strength, motivation and spirit for another go at life.
While I can - I am certain I still have a great deal of positive energy for the world before I have to retreat to a 'smaller place'. This energy propels me to do more & help support others where possible - I don't feel ready to give in to this disease yet.
I am thankful that the only support I seem to need right now is physiotherapy to help maintain leg strength while I am still able to walk ...as I've noted before my leg strength is severely degenerated as is my muscle bulk - I am determined to make Christmas without giving into the pain and difficulty I have walking etc. Cycling and exercise is helping but equally tiring. I have to remain mindful that fatigue is a big part of this illness for me at the moment and rest/recuperation is vital.
Emotional support comes from close friends and family (some) who have engaged with me in this journey and are helping in any way that seems appropriate. My heartfelt thanks are with my cousin who does a great deal to support me :)
This week brought confirmation of a blue badge (disabled driver) which should make the accessibility easier for me, whilst I am still driving. I think I will be due a drivers assessment soon & this will determine driving skill/ability/safety.... I'm hopeful it will be ok as my driving seems ok - to me :)
My studies for my degree are focused on a comparative study of approaches to counselling and psychotherapy - I'm drawn to existentialism as this has formed part of my life for several years now - I am finding the discipline of self- study difficult with all the challenges I have had recently, however with this new more positive vibe I am feeling from within , I feel I will be able to approach this with more vigour now. Lets hope so - it's soon assignment writing time :-/
Anyway, the week ahead brings a mixture of activity from study to a retreat in Yorkshire where I will be reflecting on living and dying; in a group facilitated by the monastery there - a peaceful and welcome space for me to think about the future....
No comments:
Post a Comment